We aim to please

by Andrea on September 5, 2012 · 8 comments

I have to say that I am really enjoying the Who Gets Your Vote series. I love hearing smart, articulate women tell it like it is. And I think that as the election gets closer, more people will be chiming in with their questions, opinions and, yeah me toos! It’s so important to have a voice, to be heard and to know where you stand. Sadly, I have seen a disturbing amount of shouting and not nearly enough listening as I peruse my various social media accounts. I don’t like it but what bothers me more is the fact that I sit here with my mouth shut.

It hit me that I am not too opinionated online. I mean I knew that already because I am pretty intentional about it. But as I was typing and re-typing and eventually erasing the tweet that never got tweeted last night I wondered why. Who am I protecting? In my heart I still subscribe to the old adage, if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

I see far too many personal attacks when people simply disagree with each other. I think there is a way to have an opinion without being hurtful. But in the end, I think I am self-censoring because I am a people pleaser deep down. Maybe not even that deep down. It’s right there for all to see. And I am not comfortable with this quality.

I shy away from online controversy because it’s a slippery slope. Whereas I am exceptionally muted on the internet, others shout louder than they ever would if they were in your living room. And the internet provides a living room that many of us would never share in real life. It’s a fascinating melting pot. But where there is melting, there is sure to be fire.

So here we are in my living room. I already plan to answer my own voter survey, but if you have ever been curious on my thoughts about certain issues, now is the time to ask! I have a lot going on right now and this blog is going to once again be my sounding board. I know I will need it. I’m going to stay neutral for the most part on my social networks. Those are more like my front porch. But here in my living room, we can get real.

It’s time. And I thought you should know.

    • Andrea

      Hear Hear!!

  • http://www.butterscotchsundae.com Nichole

    Great timing on this post! I’ve been thinking about sending you my answers, but I don’t like confrontation at all.

    • Andrea

      I completely understand! It’s hard to go out on a limb and it’s not always necessary. But I think there is definitely a time.

  • http://www.lovelifefamilyandthensome.com Haley

    I like that you’re being bold, and raw, and open…without being brash or in your face about it.

    You mentioned that you have “a lot going on” I hope that everything is o.k. with you.

    So, my question is…are you concerned about where things are headed for women in this country?…because I most certainly am.

    I also promise that I am a mature adult and will still respect you and love you as a friend…regardless of your opinion. :)
    Haley´s last blog post ..Good Read: Preschool Gems

    • Andrea

      Thank you Haley! A lot is going on but it’s mostly good! I have a lot of work for the end of the year so I know I will need this space to be open and real and just comfortable, you know?

      In terms of where women are headed. I am concerned. But maybe not for the typical reasons. I think many people are setting their focus too small in terms of women’s issues. My main issue this election is fiscal. If we continue to make ourselves indebted to other countries (with very different belief systems) we are in far more danger of losing certain liberties than we realize.

      I feel like it’s popular to talk about the personal stuff, the things we consider to be “rights”. But the fact is, if we don’t get a handle on our own national autonomy, we might not be in a position to make our own decisions in the not so distant future. It’s not a scare tactic. It’s the reality of debt. I have been in real debt and when the collectors want their money, they take it. So…that’s my take anyway :-)

      • http://www.lovelifefamilyandthensome.com Haley

        Andrea,

        Thanks for taking the time to respond to my question.

        I agree with you a great deal on the fact that we have been overstepping our bounds as country and perhaps “flexing our muscles” in front of others a bit too long. I also agree with you on the outrageous overspending on things that are unnecessary, while things like our countries citizens and infrastructure are left in shambles.

        We need to remember the humble roots on which this country was founded and really create a new set of ideals when it comes to making this country a better place for all who live in it. :)

        LOVE that you are welcoming such an awesome, open forum for this kind of discussion here!
        Haley´s last blog post ..Good Read: Preschool Gems

  • Chris

    Andi, I totally agree with you. I am afraid of expressing my view and constantly ask myself “Why?” Why am I afraid to share my political thoughts/opinions? Well you answered it for me. I am a people-pleaser myself and obviously, its impossible to please everybody all the time. Especially when talking politics.

    Your comment in response to Haley is exactly how I am feeling this election. Why are we so concerned with women’s issues, gay marriage and the like? Aren’t those things all part of free will? Why do those things affect an election to such a high degree? I am stuck on the fiscal aspect myself, this year. We, as a country, need help and we need it now.

    Now that one little paragraph made me step completely out of my comfort zone so I’m gonna go back now. :)

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