I am 40 weeks pregnant now and thinking about the last 9 (really 10) months. In some ways, it’s been a far more relaxed pregnancy. In other ways, life has seemed to crumble around us at different times. You take the good with the bad.
This time around I haven’t read nearly as much, haven’t asked as many questions and I haven’t obsessed about every little detail of every little thing like I did with Oscar. For the pregnancy, it was nice. Now that I am nearing (??) the birth, not so much. I am antsy and ready to get this show on the road, but also realizing that I don’t even know if I am really actually READY for a newborn. I am also not really sure I am ready to push a baby all the way out of my body.
Neat, huh? Guess I will just handle it as it comes.
As for the birth, I have mentioned my desire for VBAC before and as I face the actual possibility that it might happen, I have a few thoughts. I’m calling it my VBAC Manifesto. We’ll see how I feel on the other side heh.
My VBAC Manifesto!
- I desire to birth my baby naturally with as little intervention as possible
- I do not want an elective C-Section
- I will try to wait it out and let this baby come on his own time even though it is sucking the very life out of me
- I will allow myself grace
- I will reserve the right to change my mind
- I will remember that this is my birth and every woman is different
- I will not compare my body and my birth to anyone else ‘s
- I will vocalize my fears and remember that God is in control
- I will ask my support team to remind me of these things when I forget them
- I will read 2 Timothy 1:12, Isaiah 55:9 and remember that the opposite of fear is faith as I labor
- I will delete the word fail from my vocabulary if things don’t go as planned
- I will know that I am surrounded by love and support as I go down this path
- I will doubt my doubts
- I will love my new baby boy and rejoice over him the minute he is in my arms
I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I entrusted to Him for that day - 2 Timothy 1:12
As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. [says the Lord] – Isaiah 55:9